Growing up in Florida was a huge blessing because I didn't grow up with the mindset of a "sick kid." Yes, I saw a cardiologist annually (and didn't know that other kids didn't see a special heart doctor until I was 10!) and had a nebulizer (which I didn't really use until I hit my teens) and had to stop taking PE classes by 5th grade but.....it never bothered me. It never occurred to me that I was different from everyone else.
During late elementary school, something happened that my parents didn't think ever would take place: adolescence! They didn't expect me to go through the changes other girls did but behold, puberty reared its ugly head and I experienced all of the lovely things that go with becoming a woman and when I say lovely I say crappy. ;-)
My teenage years had now arrived; I was awkward as hell and finishing middle school. It was the first day of summer vacation and I was scheduled to see my cardiologist for my annual check-up. In my 14-year-old mind, I thought I would just go in, get checked and go on with my summer.
That's not what happened.
I had my usual echo cardiogram but not my usual doctor. Without the introductions barely out of the way, Dr. Edwards said to my dad and me: "I've just gone over the results of Kimberly's echo cardiogram, let's talk transplant centers!"
In my mind I screamed: "TRANSWHAT?!" I faced my dad, hoping he'd tell me this was a joke or I'd misunderstood but the expression on his face said : 'I'm sorry Kim, but I didn't want you to find out this way'
Unfortunately, Dr. Edwards just wouldn't shut up and because of the shitty way I found out how sick I truly was, it sped up the deterioration of my health.
In December of 1994, all five of us went to St. Louis so that I could have a week long evaluation to see if I was even a candidate for a transplant. The original plan was to repair my heart and just give me lungs. After my second ever cardiac catherization, it was deemed I couldn't receive one organ without the other, that's how bad a shape my organs were in. A holey (hehe) heart and lungs worn out like leather. Because I was their first patient with Eisenmenger's Syndrome, I became their guinea pig hence why I had to go there every six months, even before my transplant.
I was on the waiting list for 17 months total (two active) and that's very short for my kind of transplant. I was very lucky because the first call was the real deal (no false alarms and that's very common for lung recipients) and extremely successful (though I still felt like first-class shit when I was recovering).
That summer was wonderful because I was surrounded by other kids who understood me. Coming back to Florida (and going back to school) was hard because I just couldn't relate to the students. I felt both older AND younger at the same time. Older because of what I'd gone thru and thought everyone was superficial but also younger because they were driving and dating and I just wasn't into that (thanks to my meds, I was hormonally shut off the first few years post-transplant plus, I had no interest to drive). On top of that, I was incredibly envious because they had the luxury to be so carefree about school dances and football games and, oddly enough, I felt like I didn't deserve (or wasn't allowed) to be so happy-go-lucky. High school just wasn't a fun time for me and now you know why.
During late elementary school, something happened that my parents didn't think ever would take place: adolescence! They didn't expect me to go through the changes other girls did but behold, puberty reared its ugly head and I experienced all of the lovely things that go with becoming a woman and when I say lovely I say crappy. ;-)
 |
| May, 1993~Last night of Youth Group and in the middle of a whipped cream fight! With our youth leader, Kevin |
My teenage years had now arrived; I was awkward as hell and finishing middle school. It was the first day of summer vacation and I was scheduled to see my cardiologist for my annual check-up. In my 14-year-old mind, I thought I would just go in, get checked and go on with my summer.
That's not what happened.
I had my usual echo cardiogram but not my usual doctor. Without the introductions barely out of the way, Dr. Edwards said to my dad and me: "I've just gone over the results of Kimberly's echo cardiogram, let's talk transplant centers!"
In my mind I screamed: "TRANSWHAT?!" I faced my dad, hoping he'd tell me this was a joke or I'd misunderstood but the expression on his face said : 'I'm sorry Kim, but I didn't want you to find out this way'
Unfortunately, Dr. Edwards just wouldn't shut up and because of the shitty way I found out how sick I truly was, it sped up the deterioration of my health.
In December of 1994, all five of us went to St. Louis so that I could have a week long evaluation to see if I was even a candidate for a transplant. The original plan was to repair my heart and just give me lungs. After my second ever cardiac catherization, it was deemed I couldn't receive one organ without the other, that's how bad a shape my organs were in. A holey (hehe) heart and lungs worn out like leather. Because I was their first patient with Eisenmenger's Syndrome, I became their guinea pig hence why I had to go there every six months, even before my transplant.
 |
| December, 1994~Dad liked how Christmasy I looked. A week or so later, we were in St. Louis for my evaluation. |
I was on the waiting list for 17 months total (two active) and that's very short for my kind of transplant. I was very lucky because the first call was the real deal (no false alarms and that's very common for lung recipients) and extremely successful (though I still felt like first-class shit when I was recovering).
That summer was wonderful because I was surrounded by other kids who understood me. Coming back to Florida (and going back to school) was hard because I just couldn't relate to the students. I felt both older AND younger at the same time. Older because of what I'd gone thru and thought everyone was superficial but also younger because they were driving and dating and I just wasn't into that (thanks to my meds, I was hormonally shut off the first few years post-transplant plus, I had no interest to drive). On top of that, I was incredibly envious because they had the luxury to be so carefree about school dances and football games and, oddly enough, I felt like I didn't deserve (or wasn't allowed) to be so happy-go-lucky. High school just wasn't a fun time for me and now you know why.
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| My senior pictures. I was supposed to graduate high school in 1998 but, for obvious medical reasons, I missed a year of school. |
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