Maybe Baby

No, I'm not but it does bring up an idea for a blog post.

I've been reading friends' statuses or their comments in message forums and I just wanted to say thank you!  Many times, people (doctors, others in the medical field) are STUNNED when we female recipients bring up the desire to have a child of our own.  They go, "you WANT to have a biological child?!"

They just assume that because of what we went thru, our urge to have children must automatically go away. Um.....that's not exactly how it works.

You can ask my sisters, I've ALWAYS been a "mini-mom" and I started babysitting since I was 11 years old.  Heck, around my dog I refer to myself as "mama" or "mommy"--hello?!  Could I make myself any more clearer?

While I haven't seen the specialist around here just yet, I'm almost positive that bearing children, who will carry my DNA, is nearly impossible due to all the crapolita my body and I have been through plus, the drugs that I'm on doesn't help.  Does it make me sad?  Yes!  Does it provoke a twinge of jealousy whenever a friend becomes pregnant with their X child?  Absolutely.

(And for those who are reading this, yes, I *do* have moments like that but as long as you're not being abusive and cherish each child, I won't become crazy psycho jealous.)

I happen to have two cousins who happen to be adopted (in fact, one is turning 16 today! YIKES!). Do I see them as my *adopted* cousins? NO!!!  They're my cousins who happen to have different biological mothers and have slightly different bent branches in my family tree.  They're STILL family, just coming into our lives in another way.

I'm not an idiot and know I'm not any younger.  If I'm called to adopt, I understand and I'm all for it!  Who wants my short stature DNA anyway?  ;-)

So yes, I still 'pin' ideas in my 'when I'm a mommy...' board in Pintrest an still hope that I earn the title of  "mother" and will be able to leave a legacy in my child(ren) some day.  Hopefully, 'maybe baby' will become 'hello baby!'   :-)

What is courage?

 

 

According to Merriam-Webster Dictonary online, this is the definition of the word "courage."

cour·age

noun \ˈkər-ij, ˈkə-rij\

Definition of COURAGE

: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

 

 

 

Over the years, I've had MANY people tell me that I'm so couragous and brave because of what I've gone thru.  While I'm flattered, I'm always taken aback.  On the one hand, I see their point.  Yes, I've been able to persevere and do insanely well over the years but then I think, I'm not brave! That praise belongs to my donor family. They were the ones who said 'yes' when they could've easily said no. 

 

I'm flattered by the comments but.....all I'm trying to do is to remind people that, once upon a time, there was a little girl who lived on this Earth.  She had a family that loved her, friends and all of that but sadly, she was taken away from her loved ones much too soon in a cruel way.  I'm just trying to remind people that through me, a part of my donor is still very much alive , I'm busting my patootie to make sure her death was not in vain and that there was a purpose to her existence. I wish people would consider that when they hear my story. 

 

 

(Just something I wanted to get off my chest.)