In Sickness and In Health: Part Tres

A few years ago, I wrote two blog posts regarding relationships (first one is here: In Sickness and In Health).  One of the reasons I took some lengthy breaks?  Guess who was in a relationship?  Yup, ME and it was awesome while it lasted but please notice the key phrase: while it lasted.

Unfortunately, I was dumped in March of last year and in a shitty way (long story short: bastard dumped me by unfriending me on Facebook less than a week after I'd gotten home from having gallbladder surgery and...oh yeah, a sudden move!).  On top of that, I found out a few months ago that my ex-boyfriend was also....drum roll please.....MARRIED TOO!! UGH!!  At 34 years old, he wasn't man-enough to tell me the truth!!

So.....I'm back at square one, at 35 years old.  It. Is. SO. HARD!

Still looking for Mr. Right

Not only am I a transplant recipient with quite a bit of medical baggage, I'm also your classic introvert.  In the past, whenever I would attend a social gathering, I would be coiled tighter than a snake and, unfortunately, people would mistaken my shyness (or, feeling uncomfortable) as snottiness. Thankfully, the transplant games have helped me loosen up A TON; so much so, that my transplant friends have a hard time believing that out-going Kim is really super awkward on her home turf.

I've tried dating websites (oh, where do I begin?) and have gone on the occasional date with said guy but as soon as he finds out about my transplant (either via Google or my own big mouth) he automatically assumes I'm untouchable, freezes and doesn't speak to me again. It really sucks that ,the guys I've come across, can't seem to see past that.  

I just want a caring, sweet, attractive (in my eyes), funny, smart (but not so smart that he makes me feel like a dope), family-oriented man.....who is brave enough to take me on and doesn't freak out over my scars--the physical and otherwise.

Are you brave enough to help me unpack my baggage?

In sickness and in health....

The above title takes on a whole new meaning for someone like me.  Someone who received their transplant young and is searching for their Mr. (or Mrs.) Right. 

During the first couple of years post transplant, I wasn't interested in boys.  Shocker, I know, but those drugs caused me to be hormonally turned off at first.  Besides, high school wasn't a fun time for me anyway and I was always behind compared to my peers.  College?  I went to a community college so I just went to class, came home, and that was it. 

It wasn't until I was in my mid-20s that I realized,  "Holy crap!  Everyone I know is getting married!  When did this happen?!" and felt like I needed to catch up with them in the game of "life."

I'm now nearly 31 years old (in just a little over 12 hours it'll be official) and I'm still looking for my Mr. Right.  I've tried various dating websites (eharmony, christiancafe, match, catholic.com, etc.) with slim success.  Soon after a few online messages (either via my big mouth or their own searching on me) said guy finds out about my transplant and then woosh!.....I never hear from him again.

Since 2002, I've been involved with the U.S. Transplant Games and made some incredible friends along the way.  Up until that point, I thought it was just me who was having trouble finding a guy.  Nope!  Turns out, there are a lot of female recipients (and males too, I'm sure but it's only the girls I've talked to about this) who are also getting discouraged.  Either they're like me (still at the starting gate) or they start dating someone and said person breaks up with them and usually, it's because they can't the medical baggage that we recipients come with.  It was such a relief when I learned I wasn't the only one going through this. 

During this past summer's U.S. Transplant Games, I was sitting and talking with my team's (Team Florida) assistant manager, Denise, and she was talking about how her relationship with her husband changed during her transplant.  Alex went from being her lover and protector to being her nurse, care taker, etc.  She said that it was hard for her to see him enter these new roles but he handled it like a pro and stood by her side....in sickness and in health.

I know that the saying goes Good things come to those who wait but.....could you please speed it up God?